


pillow fort rituals

by kuroopaisen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Childhood Friends to Lovers, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, and very fluffy, because i don't write anything else, it's just short and sweet, kind of, mentions of depression, mostly just wholesome fluff, with a couple of nose boops, yeah idk what to say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:42:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25834441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuroopaisen/pseuds/kuroopaisen
Summary: every friday, you and kuroo build a pillow fort. it’s been that way since you were kids. and it’s those quiet moments that matter the most.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader, Kuroo Tetsurou/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 107





	1. eleven.

The memory is clear as anything. 

You’re eleven, and you don’t know why you’re so sad. All you know is that it’s deep, pervasive, and nothing you’ve tried seems to shift it. It’s the sort of sadness that makes you feel like you’ll never be happy again.

Kuroo had always been perceptive. Melancholy had struck you young. He’d noticed. He’d empathized. And child as he was, he could only think of tangible solutions to a problem that was bigger than the both of you. And that solution was pillow forts.

The structural integrity of these pillow forts left something to be desired, but that didn’t matter to two kids. What mattered was the pride he felt at being able to construct something in the first place. What mattered was how full his heart was when he saw that delighted smile on your face.

You don’t remember much of what was said that afternoon, huddled under your sofa cushions, the only light coming from the little cracks at the side. You’d probably spoken about something stupid – maybe about how you were definitely going to be taller than him, or what the best Pokémon was. Something inconsequential, ultimately meaningless. But you knew that it had made you feel better. It hadn’t done away with the sadness entirely; but it had helped you feel less alone.

But, Kuroo always did that.

Your friendship with Kuroo had been born out of an accident. You were about nine, riding your bike around the neighbourhood – without training wheels, thank you very much – when this kid runs out onto the footpath in front of you.

You swerved. Next thing you know, your knees are all scuffed, your palms covered in little red dots, and a black-haired boy is gaping at you.

He helps you to your feet, despite your best efforts to slap his hands away. Somewhere in the middle of all that, he asks you if you’re okay.

You sniff out a resounding ‘yes.’ Though your pride was little more than dust, your bike looked to be in one piece. Determined to not let this stranger see you cry, you propped it up and hurried home.

It’s morning the next day, and that same boy was standing at your front door. He’s pouty, and he’s ears are red, but he doesn’t want you to focus on that. He’s holding out a little bento box that’s arranged as a cat.

You’re confused. He’s embarrassed.

Your mother explains that his grandmother had made him go over and apologize. You’re just confused as to how they worked out which house was yours. The boundless wisdom that only comes with being nine told you that it didn’t matter much.

That very same day, you’re back in the street, knees and palms bandaged, doing your best not to squint too much in the midday sun. Apparently, this boy – Kuroo Tetsurou, or something dumb like that – thought that dragging you outside to play volleyball with him and another kid from your street constituted a solid apology.

You beg to differ. But you were there anyway.

It was about that time you realised that the volleyball was the culprit of your calamity. Kuroo had explained, years later – and with quite the sheepish look on his face – that he’d been chasing a stray volleyball, and he hadn’t seen you at all. Kenma had apparently been there too, but he’d been so spooked by the crash that he’d hurried home.

At that point, Kuroo was too much a fixture in your life for you to be truly mad.

Not when he built you pillow forts.

And he kept building them, too.

But, you weren’t about to complain. And a tradition formed; every Friday, no matter what was happening or what you’d done earlier in the day, you two would build a pillow fort.

In many ways, they were an anchor. Something to look forward to in the worst weeks. Many a night, you were grateful for that. You just hoped they wouldn’t stop.

He never told you, but there was one particular reason he kept doing them. One the first day he’d built one, you’d done something in the midst of your melancholy.

You smiled.

Something in Kuroo’s heart stirred at that; a sense of pride, maybe. Or relief. Some blend of the two.

He made a quiet vow to himself that day. No matter what, he was going to do his best to make you smile.


	2. seventeen.

High school slipped away from you before you had time to process any of it.

Kuroo’s architectural prowess had improved, but only by a bit. You liked to tease him for it; two and a half years of high school physics, and this was the best he could come up with?

But these days, something about these pillow forts felt… dangerous. Like if you lost yourself in the experience of it, you might do something stupid. Something that’d jeopardise something so precious, so important.

It didn’t help that Kuroo had gotten so big. Not only was he tall as hell, but he’d filled out, too. And you’d noticed. In the past, a pillow fort had left plenty of space for the two of you, with plenty of wriggle room. Now, there was just so damn much of him that you had to be pressed close enough to him that it made your cheeks flare up.

Your solution to that was to push any confusing feelings you had to the side.

Kuroo was your friend. Always had been. Always would be.

Today, at least, there was good enough reason to ignore the intimacy of being pressed so close together in such a small space.

“Are you nervous?” You asked, staring up at the fairy lights shoddily hung from the ‘roof’.

“What do you think?” Kuroo chuckled.

“Stupid question,” you smiled.

Your gaze traced the dips and curves of the fairy lights as you turned your thoughts over.

“You need a distraction, huh?” You sighed, closing your eyes.

“Mhm.”

Yes, he needed a distraction. But what he needed most was you. Your presence. Your company.

He’d kept his promise. Through all your own trials, he’d been there, making you smile.

But you’d done the same for him, whether you’d intended to or not.

“Wanna watch Pirates of the Caribbean?”

“Nah,” he shook his head.

You pouted. “Alright then… did you wanna watch a vine compilation then?”

He laughed, reaching over to take your hand. He stopped just short. What on earth are you thinking? “Nah.”

“Well…” You bit your lip, your brow creased in the way he always found kind of cute. “What do you want to do, then?”

“Just…” He sighed. “Just tell me about that game you finished.”

So you did. Reliably as always, you rambled. You knew him well enough by now to be confident in the knowledge that he actually enjoyed listening to this sort of thing. And, he actually listened. That was always a relief. And you knew that sometimes, he needed you to do this. You were always happy to oblige. Especially on a night like this. Especially when he was finally about to do the thing he’d spent the past three years working towards.

He’d told you how much he wanted the Battle at the Garbage Heap to happen. You’d seen everything he’d put into making it happen. You’d seen just how much he cared about his team, his coach. You’d seen him become captain, and lead the team all the way to nationals.

Kuroo had always impressed you. You knew how shy he could be, how much people could drain him; and yet, he always tried to be understanding. Even if that manifested in less-than-traditional ways. You knew how hard he worked to maintain his grades, even when is priorities were split between academics and volleyball.

Yes, Kuroo had always impressed you. But seeing all of it come together in such a tangible way was more gratifying than you could’ve expected.

“Hey, Tetsu?”

He swallowed. It was just a nickname – one you’d been using since middle school – but it was enough to make his ears heat up. He didn’t quite know why. “Yeah?”

“I’m proud of you.”

He turned to look at you. You were already gazing at him, the softest of smiles on your face.

His brain was already muddled. That just made it worse.

“Ha.”

“Ha?” You scoffed. “That’s your response?”

“I…” Kuroo opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came. His thoughts weren’t falling into place right; he wanted to say ‘thank you.’ But that didn’t feel like enough.

You were staring at him, your head tilted to the side.

“Don’t say things like that,” he groaned, pressing his palms against his eyes.

“What?” You frowned.

“That… That you’re proud of me.”

“Why not?” You laughed, rolling onto your side. “What? Are you embarrassed?”

“Never,” Kuroo shook his head, smiling. “It just makes you sound lame.”

You scoffed. “Wow! Three years of having your back, and this is the thanks I get?”

But you’re smiling. And in that smile, Kuroo sees the promise that no matter what comes tomorrow, things will be okay.


	3. eighteen.

“I’ll be honest with you, I thought we might not make it for a second there.”

Kuroo laughed. “Speak for yourself.”

“How does it feel, knowing I’m the only reason you passed English?”

“How does it feel knowing you’d be a high school drop-out if I hadn’t saved your chemistry grades?”

You held up a hand in defeat. “Touché.”

It felt a bit silly, to be curled up in a pillow fort on the night of your graduation. You should’ve been out partying, celebrating with other members of your class as you bid adieu to your high school days. But you hadn’t wanted to do that. All you wanted to do was spend time with Kuroo.

And he felt the same. As good as he was at putting up a front, he still found being around people a little draining. The only exceptions were you and Kenma. Not that he was going to admit that to you, though.

“I can’t believe it’s over,” you murmured, eyes scanning over the strings of fairy lights hung haphazardly around the fort.

“Uh huh,” Kuroo hummed. High school really had gone by in a flash. Third year especially. It had been a big year; bigger than he could’ve anticipated. Bigger than you’d hoped for.

There was still one thing he wanted to do, though.

He rolled over to face you. His heart froze as he looked into your eyes, barely a hair’s breadth away. They looked so bright, so hopeful.

Say it, he thought to himself. Just get it out.

“Tetsu?”

The thumping in his ears nearly drowned out all other sounds.

“Yeah?”

“We’re still going to be friends, right?” You murmured, voice so quiet and soft it hurt.

Kuroo frowned, trying to ignore the pang in his chest. “What sort of question is that?”

“I mean, when we go to uni,” you bit your lip, averting your gaze. You shifted, bringing your legs up closer to your chest. “Will we still…”

“What brought this on?” Kuroo rolled over onto his stomach, propping himself up as he looked down at you.

“Everything’s going to change now.” Your voice broke his heart.

Frankly, you were terrified. Sure, your friendship might survive university – it had survived many a year by now. But university meant becoming new people. Changing so drastically you might not recognize yourselves. It meant discovering what is was you really wanted to do, where you were going to go.

And what if that took you away from each other? What if Kuroo found new friends, friends he felt more of a kinship with? He’d always excelled in the things he’d applied himself to; what if you got left behind?

You’d thought about little else in the past few days. But there was only so much you would admit to him. 

“We’re going to the same uni, dumbass,” he chuckled, reaching over to tap you on the nose.

You swatted his hand away, but you couldn’t help but smile. “I know,” you mumbled, looking at him.

He was smiling at you. A genuine smile, with eyes so soft and gentle that you might’ve been fooled that there was something behind them. An unspoken affection that ran deeper than he’d admitted to.

This felt dangerous. If you weren’t careful, you felt you might forget the relationship you actually had.

No. You couldn’t risk that. You wouldn’t.

“I just…” You turned to look back at the ceiling, hoping it the fort was dark enough to hide the blush on your cheeks. “I just don’t want to lose you.”

You’d never hated silence more than in that moment.

“Hey.”

His hand around yours. Your ears thrumming. Your chest so tight it felt like it would snap.

“You’re not going to lose me.”


	4. nineteen.

You’d been worried over nothing.

The friendship between you and Kuroo had held strong well past graduation, right to the end of your first semester of university. And, much to your delight, your pillow fort rituals had held strong. Even when you were both busy, even if you both had assignments due, you still found time on a Friday to set up a crappy pillow fort and waste time.

Things had changed a little, though. First of all, the forts were more haphazard now than they’d ever been. Your apartments were sparser than your parents’ house, and you missed the silk sheets his grandparents had lent the two of you. But, it added a certain charm to the whole thing; and the most important part was that the fairy lights were the very same ones you’d used in your childhood.

University had also brought a new kind of social life; one where Kuroo had gotten quite popular. People had noticed him; noticed that he was so tall, so handsome, so clever. He’d made friends so easily that you were kind of jealous. It’s not that you’d done badly or anything – you’d made a few friends here and there, and you’d never felt like you were isolated – but Kuroo was always in such high demand.

It made the fact that he’d still reserve his Fridays for you all the more touching. You tried not to read too much into it, but your heart was determined to make a big deal of it.

But, people hadn’t just noticed Kuroo because they wanted to be friends with him. Oh no. He’d been popular in plenty of other ways, too.

You were grateful that you two didn’t live together. You’d wanted to, before university had started. The fact that he was reluctant had hurt you deeper than you’d let on. The fact that your best friend, the person who’d been by your side since middle school, didn’t want to live with you had been a significant blow to your self-esteem.

These days, you wondered if it was because he would’ve felt too awkward to have sex while you were in the house. You’d forcibly stopped yourself from thinking about that sort of thing, lest it drive you crazy.

He wasn’t the only one who’d gotten into dating, though. Sure, you had some complicated feelings for your best friend, but that didn’t mean you shouldn’t try to move on. And try you did.

Unfortunately, Kuroo had set the standard far too high. Other people just couldn’t measure up. Most prospective partners lasted maybe two dates before the spark fizzled out – usually followed by a ‘I told you so’ from your friends – and nobody managed to stick. There was one guy who you managed to date for a couple of months, but he’d been kind of a dick. The fact you’d stuck around for so long baffled even you. You wondered, sometimes, if it was because he treated you so differently to Kuroo. Maybe you’d stayed with that asshole because they didn’t remind you of him in any way. 

But you thought it best to not dwell on such thoughts.

And on top of all that, Kuroo had developed a fondness for fire whiskey, of all things. You’d teased him for having such expensive taste, of course, but he usually reserved it for your pillow forts.

He never got drunk –why waste such an expensive alcohol? Fire whiskey was to be savoured, not chugged – but he always got tipsy enough to get a bit… affectionate. Sometimes, instead of lying next to each other, the two of you tended to get your limbs all entangled. You’d somehow find yourself pressed against his chest, and his arms would just happen to find themselves around your waist.

Now was one such time. 

“So, the date was a disaster, huh?” You asked, unable to bring yourself to look up at him.

“Wasn’t supposed to be a date,” Kuroo groaned, “but yeah. I didn’t know I could fuck up that colossally.”

“What happened?” You laughed.

“Nope,” Kuroo shook his head, the movement shifting his whole body. “Too embarrassing.”

“Aw, but you can tell me.”

Kuroo shook his head again. “Absolutely not.”

“What, did you strip in the club or something?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Not going to work.”

“You’re no fun,” you pouted, but you didn’t press the issue any further. If he didn’t want to tell you, he didn’t have to. And sure, it hurt a little that he was keeping something from you, but he must’ve had a reason.

The reason was that, a few drinks in, and he kept calling his ‘date’ by your name. But he wasn’t going to admit to that.

“At least I don’t have to be embarrassed about the fact that my ex is a total dickhead.”

“That’s uncalled for,” you whined, punching him lightly in the stomach.

“How much time did you waste on that asshole?” Kuroo hummed, reaching over to poke your nose.

“Too long,” you mumbled, swatting his hand away.

Kuroo grunted in response, but said nothing more.

Out of all your friends, Kuroo had particular vitriol against your ex. They’d only met a handful of times – often because you bumped into each other on campus – but they’d never gotten along very well. At first, Kuroo had kept those feelings from you, offering you tense smiles and saying that he was glad you’d found someone that made you happy.

When you’d actually told him what sort of person your was, though, that had quickly changed. His character assessments of him were merciless, and he was always furious whenever you told him about how your ex had hurt your feelings that week.

When you finally broke up with him, Kuroo seemed to collapse with relief.

“You deserve better than that idiot, anyway,” he mumbled. You weren’t quite sure if you were supposed to have heard that.

You could feel your cheeks burning, startlingly aware of the position you were in.

Your ex might have been a mistake. You were sure that, deep down he was a good person, but he’d just been… too immature to maintain a healthy relationship. He’d made you feel a bit like you were just there to keep him warm.

Did Kuroo feel like you were doing the same to him? Sure, it had been a while since you’d split up with your ex, but this affection between you two… it was new. And it had begun happening after that whole debacle.

But you knew you weren’t just using him for his warmth, or as a placeholder until you found someone else.

You wanted him.


	5. twenty.

Kuroo knew he was an idiot.

He’d avoided moving in with you because he knew he shouldn’t get so close to you. That by living with you, he’d send himself mad.

And yet, he’d gone and initiated goddamn intimacy with you on a Friday night.

He knew he should’ve stopped the first time. That the tipsy haze from the whiskey was stopping him from thinking things through.

But he kept doing it. Hell, he was even doing it when sober now.

You sighed, burying your head into his chest.

“I don’t wanna think about anything right now,” you mumbled, voice muffled by his shirt. “I just want to…”

“Just want to what?” Kuroo asked, tilting his chin down to get a better look at the top of your head.

“Nope,” you shook your head, burying your face further into his chest. “Too embarrassing.”

He smiled to himself. “But you can tell me.”

You paused. You bit the inside of your cheek. “I just want to… to be… with you. Right now.”

The words tumbled out of your mouth much less elegantly than you’d hoped. It was half a confession; a whisper to the very feelings you’d been holding so close to your chest.

Kuroo swallowed, his arms tensing around you.

“Sorry.” Shit. Shit, shit, shit. “Sorry, that was a really weird thing for me to say—”

“Hey.”

His arms tightened around you again, pulling you even closer to his chest.

“Hm?” It was the only sound you could make. This moment felt so fragile, so delicate.

One long, shuddering breath. He could do this.

He should’ve done it a long time ago.

“I love you.”

Fuck. Was it too much? Had he misread everything?

“I love you, too.”

Everything stopped. Every thought, every sensation.

You’d said it back.

After everything, you said it back.

“You know I mean, like, romantically, right?”

He would’ve strangled himself if given the chance. But fuck, he was giddy. There was no other way to describe it. Giddy like that child that’d run out in front of your bike all those years ago. Giddy like that teenager who’d held your hand for the first time in a crowd, under the guise of ‘not getting lost.’ Giddy like the university undergrad who’d felt you wrap your arms around him for the first time.

“Of course I know that, asshole.” You mumbled. But he could tell you were smiling. Your voice gave it away.

He grinned.

Your raised your head, then, looking up at him. The look on your face was unlike anything he’d seen before – some concoction of relief, disbelief, and joy. He thought, in that moment, that it might be the most endearing thing he’d ever seen.

And he kissed you.

Finally, after so long, he kissed you.

The feeling of his mouth on yours was enough to make you implode. All those years, all that want came forth at once. You wanted nothing more than to melt into him, to wrap your arms around him and hold him close to you. To do all the things that had haunted the back of your mind for years.

Relief and exhilaration were shooting through Kuroo in equal measure. He really was an idiot, but he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to make up for ‘lost time’. He shifted, wrapping his arm around you and flipping the two of you over. He propped himself up on one elbow, grabbing your waist with his other hand and pulling you into him.

_Thump_.

Everything went dark. A gentle weight was pressing down on the two of you. One wrought by a pile of collapsed pillows and blankets.

“You alright?”

“Yeah,” you blinked.

You both laughed.

“Typical,” Kuroo sighed, shrugging his shoulders in an attempt to slough one of the pillows off his back.

“We should probably sort this out.”

“Eh, it’s fine.” You could feel him smiling against your lips.

“Tetsu, I’m not doing this under a collapsed pillow fort.”

“Then you’re a coward.”

“You know what? I’m suddenly not interested.”

“Now that’s just unfair—” 


End file.
